For my first post I’ll tell you all how we go 7-5, this year . . .

Sept. 5 Middle Tennessee
The tigers will come out looking strong with Willy Korn at the helm throwing and scrambling like a madman. All 55,000 fans in attendance will be someone happy with the victory, but astonished at when Willy takes off his helmet to reveal his new orange hair.

Clemson 49 MT 6

Sept. 10 at Georgia Tech (ESPN)
This grueling grudge match will leave both teams feeling like losers, but GT will win 12-9. Willy Korn will be sacked no less than 5 times, and Parker will be the new poster boy for T-netters. Oh, and CJ Spiller would have pulled a groin muscle or something and won’t be able to play.

Clemson 9 (1 TD, 1FG, 1 missed extra point) GT 12 (1 safety, 1 TD, 1 FG)

Sept. 19 Boston College
Let’s face it. Boston College sucks, but we choke, big time. Willy throws two interceptions, and CJ is still out due to injury. Boyd comes in and scores a TD to give us hope, but then he is knocked out and leaves the game with a concussion muttering something about a Roy Orbison tattoo.
Okay, with a different schedule, this game just became a little more important. Our guys know we have to get the job done, and BC does suck. CJ will not let us lose this one.

Clemson 24 BC 17

Sept. 26 Central Michigan
Willy is threatened by almost losing his starting position. Incidentally, CJ is better. The tigers have a “complete” game against a “complete” pushover.

Clemson 70 CM 14

Sept. 26 TCU (oh shit)
Well, on the one hand, I’m happy to play a competitive team. On the other, fuck.

Clemson 10 TCU 35

Oct. 3 at Maryland
Riding high from their display of awesomeness from beating someone, the Tigers roll into Maryland feeling pretty cool, and Maryland reminds them what it is like to play a real team. Clemson gets their act together late in the game, but Ron Cherry is ref. Okay, we will still win this game because fuck Maryland. CJ will be back, and Willy or Parker will have his act together.

Clemson 35 MD 28

Oct. 17 Wake Forest.
Clemson has their act together. They are pissed, and want revenge. Incidentally, WF’s QB is questionable for the game and . . . WHAMMIE!!

Clemson 42 WF 17

Oct. 24 at Miami
The tigers are feeling like a real football team again. Tardnetters are going crazy. A new hip slogan is made- something like, I don’t know – Orange U Glad to be a Tiger! – The tigers play well. UM gets lucky. We don’t really know why we lost.

Clemson 21 UM 22

Oct. 31 Coastal Carolina
Parker and Boyd flip a quarter to see who gets to play the second half.

Clemson 49 CC 14

Nov. 7 Florida State
Playing a patsy before playing a giant is not as beneficial as you may think. The tigers come out strong, rested, and look good early, but FSU plays the whole game, and Bobby wants some.

Clemson 28 FSU 35

Nov. 14 at NC State
We should have won that last game . . . poor state.

Clemson 35 NC State 12

Nov. 21 Virginia
Orange you glad to be a Tiger! R U ALL IN! This is the pre USCe warm up game. We’re still pissed and healthy and want to make a statement . . .

Clemson 31 Virginia 17

Nov. 28 at South Carolina
If we win this game, Spurrier will never coach again. For one game a year, we click on all cylinders. This game will make us think we should be ranked. We think of this year as a rebuilding year despite the fact that we really haven’t changed anything. We play to our potential. We are ready to go bowling . . . so is USC. Clemson wins because fuck USC.

Clemson 28 USC 17

With our traveling fan base we’re going bowling and talking about how we’ll improve next year. This is a rebuilding year. A true rebuilding year, but I think we’ll still feel a little robbed with 7-5. I want to go to a crappy bowl game, and win. There, I said it. Give me the Humiliation Bowl with an 8-5 record

Posted on Tuesday, June 16th, 2009 at 8:32 am by Riggs

Filed under Clemson, Football.

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