My thoughts throughout the game. I’m not bothering to filter this time. There’s no point.
You’ll note that the thoughts at the start are pretty similar to the thoughts at the beginning.
The firings can’t begin soon enough.
Don’t click more. Seriously. Don’t.
The team has gone full tard.
Kirk Lazarus: Everybody knows you never go full retard.
Tugg Speedman: What do you mean?
Kirk Lazarus: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, ‘Rain Man,’ look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cards. Autistic, sho’. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, ‘Forrest Gump.’ Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain’t retarded. Peter Sellers, “Being There.” Infantile, yes. Retarded, no. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard. You don’t buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, “I Am Sam.” Remember? Went full retard, went home empty handed…
Clemson’s offense meet Webster. Webster, Clemson’s offense:
Etymology: Middle French inepte, from Latin ineptus, from in- + aptus apt
1 : lacking in fitness or aptitude : unfit
2 : lacking sense or reason : foolish
3 : not suitable to the time, place, or occasion : inappropriate often to an absurd degree
4 : generally incompetent : bungling
Me: How would you like to suck my balls?
Tommy Bowden: What did you say?
Me: I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Actually, what I said was…
[picks up a megaphone]
Me: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, TOMMY BOWDEN?
[On 4th down just before the half ends and the clock is running]
You FUCKING DOUCHEBAGS!
[After a fucking weak play where Harper is rushed and tosses it out of bounds]
Ok. I see why the coaches are afraid to run plays. GEEZUS TAP DANCING CHRIST!
<-- HALFTIME! --> I grilled a nice, big porterhouse for myself. I feel very manly. I wish the Clemson football team showed signs of manliness.
God must hate Rob Spence. And conversely, God must be infatuated with Vic Koenning.
7min left in the 3rd quarter… how THE hell is this a 3pt game?
Pass complete to Faerber… D totally left him open… 3 on 2.
3min left in the 3rd quarter… how THE hell is this a 3pt game?
Props to Harper for getting some yards on 3rd down by running, setting up a 3rd and short.
TO with 2:38 in 3rd… talk about Vandy and the good starts by the “smart schools.” No mention of Bobby Johnson as new Clemson HC.
1st and goal. False Start.
Desperation is a… stinky cologne.
Oh. My. Good. God. Jacoby! 7 seconds left in 3rd quarter. I can’t believe we’re winning.
Between 3rd and 4th quarters. What have we learned from the stock market? Sell high, buy low. Let’s win the ACC and unload TB when other schools will be interested.
[going to commercial]The more I drink, the better AC-DC sounds.
13:38 in 4th. No time-outs left. FUCK.
13:34 in 4th. Harper throws interception. Ford looks hurt. Triple FUCK!
“Turnovers is the name of the game if you’re Wake Forest.” – ESPN announcer. Thanks for that.
Laughing at the announcer’s criticism of the play call to throw downfield. Spence is damned.
I can’t believe we’re still winning.
Frank Howard’s ghost? Will we win, rather than the best team winning?
Whoa, whoa whoa… did you see the dirty shit that brought down Crezdon Butler [7:46 left]. Refs missed a BIG PENALTY. Come on ESPN… Show the fucking replay. Show it. Show it…. NO! Not the fucking replay of Bowden clapping. Motherfuckers.
5:34… 2nd and goal. TD. We’re losing. I can believe it.
Going for it on 2? Yeah, I believe it. Groh, unlike Bowden, is capable of realizing when his kicker is a complete pantywaste and shouldn’t be allowed near the field.
4:26.. 4th & 17… WTF happened on 3rd down? What kind of fucking pass was that. JEEZUS.
HOLY FUCKING TAP DANCING SHIT CHRIST! Was that Xavier Dye who just caught a pass and made a big ass play?
[Ford looks dead].
2nd & 10. A hold? You don’t say. Not with our awesome offensive line.
2nd & 20. Good job Kelly.
Watch everyone’s draft status plummet.
3rd & 20. This will be an easy conversion.
4th & 20. Nice pass, Farva.
Wake’s Ball.. 3rd & short. ~bout 2 minutes left.
They got the 1st. Game over.
All weapons. No ammunition. The firings cannot start soon enough. TB should be unemployed by the time I wake up tomorrow.